Friday, May 29, 2015

Baby L Announcement

A little background may help as to why we went with the bicycle theme for our announcement...
And the pièce de résistance is that when David and I started dating seriously, David rode his bike from his Evansville Indiana to Louisville Kentucky to come see me.  The trip started off as a random idea to a fundraiser for a mission trip he and a few friends were going to take.
Then on our wedding day in New Harmony Indiana we stumbled upon an awesome tandem bicycle for a photo opt and quick ride around town.  If you haven’t tried riding a tandem bicycle with a wedding dress on well you’re just missing out and or don’t have the skills I do, ha-ha.  Now on vacation we always end up on a tandem bike even if it results in me getting slammed into a light pole. (Thanks David) It only felt fitting to make our baby announcement with a yellow tandem bike from our wedding to this vintage tricycle we borrowed from a friend.    Now we are headed in the same direction! 
Added a little message in there as a reminder of the love, prayer, and medical helped we are thankful for in creating this child!
So therein lies the story of the bicycle pregnancy announcement. We are so very excited!


So, here we are. Over three years later, and God has blessed us with this absolute miracle. WE ARE PREGNANT. We have prayed for so long. Looking back, I never would have thought that this would all be possible. I believed that we couldn’t have children. I had accepted that but continued with 3 iui’s and 3 ivf cycles.  But God said no to my doubts. He answered our prayer.

Just let that soak in for a minute.
He answered our prayer.
In His own way and in His own timing.

This season of life has felt long and tiresome. Looking back now, I see that this was for our learning and maturing. This forced us to rely fully on Christ Jesus, and to draw nigh unto Him. We’ve learned to be patient, to trust, to give it to God, to wait…and it has been worth it.

We have been praising God ever since we found out. He deserves the glory and honor for this answer to prayer. We are truly blessed with a miracle only He could do.

And although we’ve crossed a pregnancy threshold after hearing that heartbeat\seeing our baby and going into our 2nd trimester, I’m still cautious. Every cold I get, every time I have a cramp or anything, I panic and run to Dr. Google, which is hardly ever reassuring. After all the ups and downs of IVF, I don’t think that part of me will ever go away. But I also have an underlying layer of deep thankfulness and joy pointing the way forward. It's this that makes every shot, every pill, every setback, and all of the tears worth it. I want every woman out there going through infertility to know that I remember. I know how strong you are and what you're going through. I hope you are surrounded by love and support as you fight for your BFP. 

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: I feel incredibly lucky for all of the love, prayers, encouragement, and tips I've received throughout my IVF process and pregnancy thus far. It's with this in mind that I want to keep the support going and pass it forward to all of the other parents, soon-to-be parents, and want-to-be parents out there.  God answered your prayers, too. How good is our God!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Baseline ivf round 3

I am stressed.  We have sold the house done the inspection and now waiting on the appraisal to come back and closing date.  We need to find a place to live until June, when we will know if we are staying or going to Louisville.   We need to find a place and pack up my adorable little house and all before we get to transfer my little embies back around March 18th.  Stella ' s birthday coincidence I think now. :)  anyway all I really want is a plan and healthy babies in my belly.  

Today we had our baseline ultrasound to check my lining and everything looks good to start stim on Mar. 2

Prayers for stress and baby dust.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Shot shot shot

Infertility ivf round 3

Tonight we started shot for round 3 of IVF. I'm excited and nervous I really want this to be the one . I know that there's a lot at stake but I really think that all the signs point to God saying 

Sunday, November 23, 2014

What now?

Where do i put the hope when how is gone?  The dreams the desires?  The baby names and nursery designs? The family traditions uncreated?  How do I stop wanting to know the feeling of a child of a God growing inside is me, the kicks and hiccups?  Where do I put all this?  How do you stop wanting a biological baby?  How do you start wanting someone else's?

How do you realize it is not your fault your body doesn't work?  


Thursday, September 4, 2014

article I found that I totally relate to

“tired of being sensitive to my infertile friend”

This was an actual search that brought someone to my blog. Sadly, it wasn’t the only one along that theme. It makes my blood boil! Oh, boo hoo, you’re tired of exercising sensitivity toward your friend? Your friend? Well, let me tell you some things your friend is probably tired of:

She’s tired of hoping and praying, month after month, that this month will be, by some miracle, THE MONTHShe’s tired of her body letting her down, month after month.She’s tired of feeling broken.She’s tired of crying herself to sleep.She’s tired of invasive and painful tests.She’s tired of medications that make her ovaries work overtime and take her on an emotional roller coaster ride, month after month (not to mention all the fun side effects, like nausea, fatigue, sleeplessness, hot flashes, night sweats, and headaches)She’s tired of watching her savings account being drained to pay for treatments that may or may not work.She’s tired of putting on a happy face and holding back tears every time she hears a pregnancy announcement, attends a baby shower, or gets trapped in a conversation about kids.She’s tired of hearing her fertile friends complain about their kids.She’s tired of fighting with her husband and worrying that the stress of infertility might be too much for their marriage.She’s tired of all the mommy worship that goes on constantly in our society.She’s tired of feeling like less of a woman because she can’t have a baby.She’s tired of scheduling her life around fertility treatments.She’s tired of all the questions and comments about her empty arms and empty uterus.She’s tired of seeing abusive or drug-addicted women have baby after baby.She’s tired of being unhappy.She’s tired of wondering how she’s going to live her life without children.(Feel free to comment below if I left anything out.)

Oh, I know it’s exhausting to make an effort to hold your tongue about your growing baby bump, or your adorable-but-what-a-handful little bundle of joy. How awful it must be that you can’t complain to your infertile friend about how tired your kids make you, how messy they are, or how you wish you had just 5 minutes to yourself. It must suck to have a friend to whom you cannot rave about how awesome it is to be a mom, or how you can’t imagine your life without your kids.

Think about this: You have one friend who requires a little sensitivity when it comes to pregnancy and kids. Your friend has to deal with dozens of friends, family members, and coworkers who can’t seem to talk about anything other than kids. So, while I’m sure you’re sick and tired of walking on eggshells around her, believe me, your friend is even more sick and tired of the pain–physical and emotional–that infertility inflicts upon her every day. Remember, this is in addition to all the other stress life throws at all of us: work, relationships, paying the bills. Your friend deserves sensitivity, especially from her friend, when it comes to her infertility. That’s what friends do.

Your infertile friend probably feels like a terrible friend, because her life is so wrapped up in all things infertility that she doesn’t always have the time or energy to give her friends the support they need, or even enjoy a night out with them. Trust me; I know. I often have to make an effort to be completely present when listening to a friend. Some days, I just can’t do it, and it makes me feel extremely guilty, even though my friends understand.

I’m not saying that you should give your infertile friend a permanent pass. At some point, any friend who only takes and does not give is not much of a friend at all. But, if you love your friend and value your friendship, you will cut her some slack and help her heal so that she can feel like a whole person again.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

YouCaring Updates

Posted on 07/11/2014 by Organizer David and Keri Langner
Philippians 4:19And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
God, is always faithful. That is why we should always be trusting Him as our supply! It’s a God thing no other words for our true blessings in the financial need that was meet in order for to proceed in to this world of in vitro fertilization.  We are $267 dollars away from our original goal and wow who would have thought in 59 days that would have ever happened.
Guys we are 3 days away from our 1st appointment for our 1st round of in vitro.  It will be an appointment for David and I to get blood work for hepatitis B and C, HIV. We will meet with our wonderful fertility nurse Tara she will explain what we can maybe expect in our upcoming treatment cycle, including any specific treatments, injection techniques and medications we will start.  I'm excited more than nervous.  I'm ready to get the ball rolling.  What a blessing this process has been
Everyone that has given to us, bought speakers, helped with our yard sale and all the embroidery orders I have had and I still continue to get, you all are on rock star status in our book.  You are a true blessing to David and I.  I know the prayers and support for the upcoming procedure has been 10x the dollar amount.  My prayer is that God knows the desire of my heart but that his will be done.  I just hope that God and I can be on the same page on this one.  J

Thank you again and I will update soon following my appointment! Prayers of Baby Dust and Health!!  Smiles and Tears is all I have today.  **Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations!

Posted on 05/30/2014 by Organizer David and Keri Langner
So many emotions…  Perhaps the high of it all is starting to come off and we are in the work like no other now, so we can live like no other later stage of the game.  I’ve had some negative people throw things my way about how they don’t believe in what we are doing.  I respect their option but until you have walked a mile in our shoes just keep it to yourself.  I would like to so gratefully thank soo many people to many to list.  All of it has been simply amazing.  Thank you so much.
I have scheduled my next Doctors appointment with my fertility office for June 17th.  We are beginning the  new cycle of treatment.  We will discuss medicine and scheduling.  Keep us in your prayers as you all are on our list of Thank you God!  Please pray that we will be successful. Please pray that we will get a chance to experience biological parenthood.

We have been praying for so long now. God has not seen fit to answer our prayers.  We sincerely believe that your collective prayers will help us achieve our dreams

Posted on 05/20/2014 by Organizer David and Keri Langner
My only authority is that I am the throws of it all. I know the heartache, the pain, the shame, the feeling of constant questions and no good answers, pretending its ok in front of your friends and crying in front of the mirror. I know what it’s like to be in the throes of it all when you run into your ex with his obviously pregnant wife\girlfriend. I have talked to the doctors. I have Googled every related topic; asked friends and experts; and spent countless hours on I have been covered in whelps from shots in my tummy and bottom. I have been covered in zits from the unbelievable amount of hormones they put inside of me. I have carefully placed a pillow under my hiney after sex “just in case.” I ate bags of spinach after hearing that it helped somehow. I purchased boxers for my husband (instead of briefs) so that his “boys” could breathe. I prayed. I yelled. I sat in a bubble bath crying. I have been there. I have looked back on my past and wondered if I was getting what I deserved from a less than perfect life; if this was my price to pay for all the bad things I’d done before. I wondered if maybe I hadn’t suffered enough to this point, so this was my cross to bear. I questioned whether or not this was some kind of clue that I wouldn’t make a good mother, so I’d never get the chance. I know what it feels like for every drunken cheerleader to get pregnant and to ask the question “why not me?”!
 I love all the response to us and our situation.  I have amazing loving family, friends, and strangers alike.  Old friends who have found me in my pits who lifted me up with their hope story, friends who find other ways to connect and strangers who offer to help us in any way they can because they have been in or are in our shoes.  It’s such a blessing.  It’s all my prayer is that this will somehow be a comfort for you. We may have never met, but our shared circumstance makes you a good friend of mine.
I am not going to give up.
I desire to have a family.  This means that I can, in some way, have a family. It may be one of the thousands of medical options that get you there. It may be adoption. It may be a miracle. And I will have the exact family that God wants us to have.
Thanks for your continued blessing of financial, emotional, or prayer support we truly appreciate it.  We have a few more fundraisers coming down the pipe line to look out for.  At this time we are almost 1\2 halfway to our financial goal of $8500 for our 1stround of IVF.   Hopefully once we get a little further we can go ahead and schedule something to get the ball moving forward.  Thanks again!
Current Fundraisers outside our donor page. 
Abrewer Photography – Mommy and Me or Daddy and Me sessions ($25 setting fee goes to our fund)
JamBerry Nails- Leslie Whitney is donating all her proceeds from my party to the our fund.
Lauren Todd- Will be giving away a photo session to a donor
A new friend is making little girls hair bows and selling them via Lauren Todd’s facebook page.  (We will receive the entire fund from that sale)
 -My embroidery is an everyday project
-My mom is working on paint party
-Selling really cool vibration speakers personalized with a name or monogram

Posted on 05/15/2014 by Organizer David and Keri Langner
Wow... how do we even start to show our apprication?  The giving to us for the treatment in the past 24 hours has been utterly unbelievable.  This kind of stuff is hard and requires us to swallow a little pride.  The comments that everyone is putting on Facebook when they share our site are so amazing and encouraging to read.   Someone wrote that it was her chance to play "fairy godmother" i loved that.  I hope more than anything we can raise the money so that we can share with our little person the love that has been given to us.  What an awesome feeling know that a whole community of people is coming together to bring life into the world.  :)
Thanks again.  Blessings to you all!